SHARING INTERESTING ...AND SAD EMAILS

NOTE: This man below emailed me. The email as you see below seems semi normal, but OH MY…look closely at the picture. LOOK closely at what is in his mouth???

Mar-
Me looking for a girlfriend you don’t live faraway and we could
get together your pic is nice you like mine
joey

JUST MAYBE......?

On Singlesnet I received several emails from "LeftOut 1". He didn't have a picture on his profile. I read over his profile carefully, it was very standard and not much to it.

I was surprised when he started to email me. He had a sense of humor...very nice. Here is his(no name as of yet) first email:

well hello mar....how r u.well just wanted say hello and hope we can
talk;who knows we might make a couple.hey....now watch.....lol.....you never
know...

He caught my eye...he may be right...who knows where it might go? Then I got this email:

well let me see.....hummm.well i am 6;1 and brown gray hair;blue eyes and i come
with dimples.i owh a harley and love to
ride.i am a fun loving guy;love to laugh;make others laugh;dine out ;dance
sometimes;go for walks;fish;or stay home with my favorite lady and cuddle and
watch a movie.as for being a ugly duckling i am not i guess...lol..and i love nascar; and
football.i live here in abilene;tx and have been divorced 6 years;and hurt very
bad.i was raised in an abusive home and hate abuse.i am very easy going;kind
;gentle and have a heart of glass....bye

The line about an abusive home caught my eye. Hmmmm..... I emailed back asked for more general information. Here is his reply:

yes;and may we continue this tommorrow...lol.i hate to type;and i am tired and
going to bed

I sure hope he gets lots of "beauty rest"....LOL And tomorrow might just an interesting day.

TODAY'S CHATROOM COMMENT OF INTEREST

Luvbug40tex: : ) i am thinking his definition of shy was not shy will cyber shy will not lol

BLAST FROM THE PAST---FEB. 2008

Brandon found me on AOL on a February Sunday evening. He IMd me and I found out we lived 20 miles apart! We both agreed it is rare to find someone so close to where we lived.

Brandon was a cowboy. He trained cutting horses. His love for horses was his second job. Brandon work for the US Forestry Dept. He lived in the country. His job would take him for weeks on end to another state, like Montana, to fight fires.

Our first talk online didn’t go too well. Brandon came off as a very negative and unhappy person—red flags. I politely said goodbye and went to bed on that Sunday night. The next morning I received a very heartfelt email from him. Here is it is:

sorry that i seem to have made you mad or just turned you away if you give me a
chance and get to know me i can be a lot of fun and for the record i was just
giving you a hard time about the not reading thing i read westerns and love the
elmer kelton books have everyone of them so far hope to hear from you soon but
if not i understand

How could I say no to that? I emailed him back and told him I’d love to talk further. We emailed and Imd for about a week. One evening out of the boy he asked me if I wanted to talk on the phone. I said yes and we hit it off immediately. Brandon told the most lame, but funny jokes. I could tell he related well to people. He asked if we could finally meet on Friday. Oh yes…we can meet!! Brandon came over to my house. It was just very casual and not stressful. We talked for about 4 hrs and I was hooked!!

Right after our first date, Brandon got the word he had to go to Utah for 3 weeks. Off he went and we kept in touch by email. Here is the email he sent me about the trip:

hey i am going to be leaving at 10pm to go to utah for an
unknown amount of time to help with getting a new fire agency office opened i
think it will be around 2 weeks maybe 3 but i will give you a call and let you
know more as i know what is going on talk to ya soon

I knew his job kept him away for big chunks of time during the year, especially during summer. That didn’t bother me him being gone, because I have plenty to do at home and work. During his trip to Utah he sent me this email:

just wanted to drop in and let you know i am alive still ha ha well looks like
the fire season is fixing to get bad and i will be returning back to abilene
this week some time but i think we should just chat online and maybe go grab a
drink once in a while i dont want to get attached to someone and not ever
have any time or be home to see them it just wouldn't be right for me or that
other person but dont be a stranger and talk to you soon

I was crushed that he didn’t want to see me anymore due to his job. I emailed that I understood about his job and I was sad we would just be friends. Boom….he emailed back to tell me his job had always ruined any relationships and if I didn’t mind, then he wanted to see me again. YEA!!!

Brandon & dated for about 3 months, until he had a major accident. He got injured rescuing a man at a local lake. Brandon broke 6 ribs, his collar bone, stress fractured 5 vertebra, and severely bruised his neck. He realized that he could have died and because of that he made some changes in his life. He took another job, lots less travel, in another city. I was sad, but I understand. I saw him for the last time a week ago for dinner. Brandon seemed happy and feeling lots better. Cowboy rides off into the sunset….

SHARING INTERESTING EMAILS

The spatula is my favorite kitchen utensil and....I like to spank my women with them. lol when will your travels bring you through my city?

NOTE: His screen name is "Spatula 1". I do love to cook, but.....

TODAY'S CHATROOM COMMENT OF INTEREST

Marbeth2 [12:57 P.M.]: Why would it matter if I had an office job?
TDoherty1273 [12:58 P.M.]: just asking I like ladys better with office job because they like footrubs

NOTE: I'm thinking..."foot fetish"??? LOL

SHARING INTERESTING EMAILS

would you like to remember the summer of 08 ?????? seekingsingle,divorced,or married females for hot steamy summer nites?????prefer females from odessa,midland area.weight must be preportionate to ht. no one over 5' 5" can entertain or travel on weekends.will consider female from houston,el paso ,lubbock,or dfw area.

Wildsexymal

NOTE: I'm taller than 5 ft. 5 in., so I had to say "No". Darn.......

TODAY'S CHATROOM COMMENT OF INTEREST

KarlaLynnTexas1: nametags are so cheesy and risky lol

Today what I feared came true. I hadn’t heard from Sam in over a week. I was hoping to hear from him. I sent him the following email on Wednesday:

Sam
It was nice to wake up to rain. I love it when the day doesn't
start off so hot. I was wondering...is everything ok? I haven't
heard from you in a week. I thought about calling you, but I didn't want
to be a bother. Steve, please let me know how you are
you.

Marion

It took about a day for him to respond. Here is his email

I'm ok...just absolutely swamped right now with class at night, work and Boy
Scout Clay bird shoot during day...really tiredsorry i have not called or
written have to go to Amarillo next Wed SJS

It seems Sam has planned every single minute of his day or either couldn’t say no…LOL I understand the urge to stay busy especially when you are single or the kids are grown and you have lots of time on your hands. You keep yourself busy at work or with volunteer activities or family or friends. Always having someone event to plan or person to help makes us feel wanted and validated. They are “safe” relationships. They serve a purpose in providing a comfort zone. Sam’s life is full of “safe” relationships. On the other hand dating or maintaining a relationship with a man/woman isn’t a safe one—it can take you outside of your comfort zone. That is why I LIKE them…LOL Sam isn’t ready for one at 58 and probably explains why he has never married. I do feel he has all the other great qualities I want in a man. It only takes one big issue to derail things.

I emailed him and let him know that I understood. There is nothing I can do about his managing of time, so I wrote a nice email telling him not to worry about calling me. For this man I did "shed a tear"....I liked Sam.

SHARING EMAILS

Hello. First of all I am 74 yr young.I am verry healthy and still verry active in all aspects of life.Encluding love making..I can pass for 60or 65.I take care of a small farm&ranch.And I work for a local power co.I do contract inspection on large power lines12 to 14 hrs a day 7 days a week.Now I dont work full time most jobs last from 1month to 4 month.I love to c&w dance trailrides camping.Of course these are just my favorit.

NOTE: This man sent me an email saying he was interested in me. I looked at his age, 74, and thought about my age, 51…….hmmm…a tad too old for me. He did say he was still active in love making!

******************************************************************************************

Hello,I am looking for a woman 35-50,white,hispanic or oriental locally to date-someone to enjoy what the area has to offer culturally I must mention that I am a one woman man who is a hopeless romantic.Iam looking for my soulmate.I don't do drugs, don't smoke,light drinker,no games.I spoil my nieces and nephews and family is very important to me.I consider myself a glass half full,positive, person.I enjoy each and every day that our lord jesus christ has given us. have a great day and god bless!

Texas Nudist

p.s.-yes i have been a practicing social nudist for over 15 years now.I love the FREEDOM of not wearing clothes at these venues..ie nude beaches, resorts.I am NOT a swinger

NOTE: Texas Nudist sent me an email asking me to join him in his fun. Surprise, surprise...no picure with his email.......Hmmmm…….

TODAY'S CHATROOM COMMENT OF INTEREST

BackBaybe: gotta love a man that IMS and talks about other women .............. the nerve!

SHARING EMAILS

My wife of 25yrs past away a yr ago from copd(lung desease),,please do not reply if ur a smoker..... So for a yr ive done nothing but work and come hom, and try to overcome my loss..I took care of my wife here at home for 2 yrs,so didnt have much of a outside life... Not sure what im lookin for ,but its time...These pics are about 5yrs ago(sent by my Mom,the cupid,haha).....My main passion is singin n playin th guitar.....Id love a girl that could harmonize and make sweet music together.......Wanta be serenaded?????? Alias

NOTE: He contacted me first on June 18th.

END OF THE ROAD FOR BILLY RAY

Time for the truth. I had so many questions about Billy Ray. Here is part of what I emailed him:

BR
I'm saying this from my point of view only, I don't mean to hurt or offend. I hope you understand that. I've listened to everything you've told me Billy Ray. Then after our short talk yesterday, it
got me thinking. You told me you’ve been totally honest with me. There is a huge disconnect between the things you told me you are now and your past. I know you want to change.I know you've had multiple marriages, jobs, and have lived in many places. You come off sounding so grounded and reasonable but
then your past actions don't say that to me. It doesn't add up to me.

I personally felt there was a huge disconnect between his words and behavior. I’m always honest and upfront, so I asked him. I had high hopes for Billy, he was fun to talk to. I waited for about a day and then came his email back. Here it is:

Marion
Thanks for your email. You certainly haven't hurt me. I'm
sorry if I said anything obtuse or offensive towards that you took any way than
in a joking manner. It was nice talking to you, though. Take care
and godspeed to you and in your search. Maybe someone who lives closer and
that is more in synch with you will come along.
Billy

As I’ve said, he is good with words. His email was very well put and intelligent. I just can’t figure him out, but deep down I still have reservations. Adios Billy Ray……

HOW TO KNOW IF HE IS THE REAL DEAL

Wow! Not only is your online date good looking, suave, well-dressed, but a rock star/investment banker/rocket scientist? Sounds too good to be true — and, chances are — it might not be true at all. From my year or so of online dating, I’ve learned how to sort the good apples from the bad and I’d like to share some of the tricks I’ve picked up to background-checking potential dates.

It’s human nature to inflate our accomplishments, pat ourselves on the back, and brag a little, especially when you’re speaking to an attractive member of the opposite sex. In the context of online dating, it’s even easier to create a false persona, to portray ourselves in just the right light. It’s so easy to change a B.A. in English to a M.A. in Physics with just the switch of a single letter. It’s even easier to add an extra zero added to your yearly income. And when the time comes, it’s still easy to carry out this persona. A rented car to impress a date? Just make sure the Budget sticker is inconspicuous. A borrowed apartment? Not to worry, just insure that your date doesn’t notice the Metamucil in the medicine cabinet or the six bottles of vodka in the recycling – “it’s not mine! I swear!” might not cut it.

White lies are fine, we all want to impress our dates, but I want to give you the advice that I’ve learned for some good back-ground checking to make sure your date is really who they say are. On my first online date, after an hour of good conversation flirtatious eyelash-batting with “David,” the “stable Physics guy,” it leaked that he had been a “graduate” of college for ten years without a job, without a relationship, and was currently couch-surfing between friend’s pads. I’m not here to pass judgment on those couch-surfing unemployed guys – for all we know, they could be the one! – but I am here to pass judgment on liars. An unemployed creep with a thing for feet could be disguised as an upright investment banker and I’m here to tell you just how to distinguish the two.

Before you meet up:

1. Google. What a wonderful invention. Just simply type in first and last name in quotation marks and see what comes up. For example, if her name is Sheryl Cassidy, type “Sheryl Cassidy” into the search engine. Unfortunately, if your date has a common name, try typing in any further information you have – like the school they went to, the company they work for, where they grew up or where they were born. Any information helps narrow the results.

2. Don’t forget Facebook, MySpace, Friendster or any other social networking site. Again, just type in the name. If they don’t pop up in your network, think of a friend you can call that might be in the same network as your date. If your date went to Harvard (we hope!) and works for Goldman-Sachs (even better!) think of any friend or friend of a friend or brother’s ex-girlfriend’s cousin that went to Harvard and ask them to scope out Mr. or Ms. X.

3. Think sneaky. The best tactic I ever did was call anyone you know in common or the workplace of your potential date pretending to be a secretary. This secretary was given their contact information as a reference from an application of Mr. or Ms. X and would like to ask a few questions:1. How long have you known Mr. or Ms. X and in what capacity?2. Do you consider him or her to be a responsible individual?3. Is there anything this company would benefit from knowing about Mr. or Ms. X about his or her personal life or character traits?
Remember to be brief, formal, and not too nosy. Just a few questions to make sure that your date really is who he says he is.

4. Last Resort—Background check. There are many websites that do background checks. They charge a fee which depends on how in depth the check is. Some companies (I’m not endorsing any):
http://www.intelieus.com/
http://www.usa-people-search.com/
http://www.backgroundchecks.com/
http://www.peoplefinders.com/

Yes you can do your own “leg work” but it takes time and patience. There are open record website with marriages, divorces, and etc. You do have to have some reference point to do these kind of searches on your on. Listen to your guy, remember dates and details---then search away!

During the Date:

Now the easiest tactic to ensure you aren’t being fooled will draw on your cuteness, ability to flirt, and self-confidence. Are you up to the challenge? Begin like this:

1. Coyly ask while running your fingers through your hair/batting your eyelashes, “So, how tall do you think you are? I feel so tall/short/just the right height when I’m around you. . .”

2. He or she will reply, alternately, ” Six foot/ Five Nine/ Five Four” whatever.

3. You will reply with mock astonishment, “No! You are so tall/short/just the right height! I don’t believe you! I need to see some ID Mister/Miss!”Nine times out of ten a driver’s license will be produced. Men, have some tact and pretend not to notice the weight listed – never, ever comment on a woman’s weight. If a driver’s license is not produced, be wary but don’t be too pushy. Some people, women in particular, are self-conscious of their photos or weight listed. There are other ways to do this if this tactic makes your date uneasy.

While your dates is beguiling you with stories of his or her success, make sure to pay attention to the times which all of this is taking place. So he graduated from Harvard in ’03 but has been working at Goldman-Sachs for six years? Something doesn’t add up. Make sure to ask when and where things took place. So she went to high school in Los Angeles but can’t remember where the Lakers play? Something smells fishy.

In addition to time and place, remember to ask why. This is a marker of good conversation as well as it is a good tactic for discovering your dates true identity. Ask why, for instance, your date moved to Philadelphia after being so gainfully employed in Boston. Similar questions indicate interest and engagement while still mining information valuable to determining whether or not your date is really who he or she says he is.

These are some words from the wise. Believe me - There was one time that a quick look at a California driver’s license revealed to me that charming, witty, handsome, young “David” was really named “Michael” and was born in 1978, not 1983. I wouldn’t have minded if Michael had told me the truth from the start but seeing that he lied completely wrecked any trust I could have eventually developed. I walked out on the date then and there – a friend flying in from Albuquerque mysteriously arrived at the airport, a sick dog stitches had burst, my mother wanted me home to water her cacti. If was lying, he was also given me license to lie and the more creative the better. I never found out why Michael lied but, honestly, at that point, I didn’t want to.

Little lies indicate huge acts of deception and I feel that in this modern world, we need to start every relationship completely open to both all of our dates’ traits – both the credentials and the shortcomings. What we might view as a shortcoming now might evolve into a great trait in the future, for example, when your date says he or she is “between jobs” maybe they are go-getters who always aspire for better work. Or maybe this could indicate a creative, artistic streak. You never know how your feelings might change as the relationship evolves. So, with these words, try to be wary without being suspicious and be confident while retaining all honesty. Good luck and happy hunting!

--Credit to Rose Johnson

Thanks for the great tips.

SAM IS GRAND

Around the first the first of April I signed up on a Internet dating site, Plenty of Fish http://www.pof.com/. A girlfriend, Lynn, recommended it to me. She said there were lots of men from our city listed.

On POF you can view who looks at your profile. I like that feature. POF is free and the profiles enable you to tell accurately about yourself with lots of good information. I noticed Sam had viewed my profile and lived about 90 miles from me. That was very doable in distance terms. Sam is 58 yrs old and never married—yes that was a RED FLAG. He was nice looking, good work history, and his profile was very articulate.

We started emailing at the first of May. Here is his first email telling me what he liked:

hi M

I like mexican food, italian, steak single malt scotch, Merlot..chocolate 50-60's
R&R, c& W, some classical movies, plays self employed & volunteer 4WD trucks and sports cars,pets...I have one cat( two died last year)jeans/boots denim
skirts/heels

We emailed about once a day all through the month. I found out he didn’t like email, too impersonal. I couldn't’t get him to do IM’s nor did we talk on the phone, so I figured computers weren’t his favorite thing to do. That was fine with me. Sam told me we worked all the time, but wanted to “Stop and smell the roses” and was interested in meeting someone. I took that as a good sign, but soon learned yes he had his life schedule ALL the time.

Sam asked me if we could meet. Hooray!!! He wanted to wait until June, when my schedule was more open, his too. He said he would be fine coming to my city and meeting. I was excited that a date had finally been set, but I would have to wait 2 weeks…darn!

The librarian in me wanted more details about Sam, since his emails where very small in content. My gut told me he would not be a serial killer, but I was curious. Sam lived in a city that I had my first job in back in 1980. Small world. The detective in me wanted accurate background info on Sam. There are dozens of websites where you can do a detailed check of public records for a fee. The fee and how in depth vary. I use the same company often (http://www.intelius.com/) The report came back clean—no tickets, court cases, etc. In this day and age, you can’t know too much about someone. I like to feel safe. I did find out he lived on the SAME street I lived on in 1980!!! Oh my….. I took that as a good omen.

The Saturday before we were supposed to have lunch I drove to his city for some recon. I looked at his house and office. Sam’s home was beautiful and looked about the same age as mine. He seemed to be the “whole package” and I hoped lunch went well.

On June 5th, we meet for lunch. Sam called and said he was running late, very nice touch. I appreciated it. We parked right next to each other, got out of the car at the same time, and recognized each other immediately. It was very exciting. He was nice on the eyes. I could tell by his smile he liked me. Lunch was fun. We talked freely and openly-adult to adult. We both agreed we wanted to talk further. I knew he was safe, so we went to my house. I’m so glad I cleaned up before hand. The next 2 hrs flew by as we talked about everything. Sam told me he liked me. I got two goodbye kisses and a hug…life is good!

Over the next two weeks, Sam has called pretty regularly but we haven’t seen each other again and that bothers me. It became clear that Sam’s life is scheduled to the max every day. He had no free nights during those two weeks. I had to be honest and tell him a relationship takes a time commitment or how can you get to know each other? He was a little put out with me for asking why we couldn't’t get together—all his commitments. I sent him emails telling him how I felt a well rounded relationship should be so he would know where I was coming from. Sam is a nice guy but my gut tells me he doesn’t know how to have a strong relationship. He maybe is afraid or doesn’t know how to do it. In time, I will find out. Deep down I feel he is worth waiting out…..and everyone knows…”patience” is not my forte at ALL.

Today I’m hoping Sam will call. He has been in Dallas for the last four days. I know he is busy Tuesday thru Thursday at night, but just maybe the weekend is free? Just maybe I will see him. I do have hope.

SHARING EMAILS

first off i am not here to play head games with other peoples feelings ..and i don t care for anyone that does ..sry just the way i am ... i am honest and straight up front ...i ve been divorced about 6 yrs now and i work a steady job ..not exactly what i want to do but had to shut down my business and trying to make ends meet lol ... just basically an ole fashion guy that would love finding someone to share some valuable time with ....

NOTE: This is the way the profile was written---errors and all.

Well thank you I though you had contacted me at first.I travel between there and Centerville but I understand how you feel but thanks again for your time and I do like your essayJim BYe

NOTE: I've never contacted this man before.

"BLAST FROM THE PAST" Dec. 2007

When I came across Roger, I had no clue it would be the first man I would meet from the internet. Another first! I was hanging out in the TEXAS LADIES Chat Room on AOL.

Roger Im’d me asking where I lived. He grew up in Colorado but had ended up in Texas. Roger was a construction foreman for a Dallas Company. He built apartment buildings. He would go oversee a project in a city and live there until it was finished. When we met he was living in Oklahoma City.

Roger had been divorced for years, but not dated much. I didn’t know back then that a man’s dating pattern was a HUGE influence on how he would interact with me. We did the usual talk by emails, IM’s, and finally on the phone. Roger was Hispanic and thus had an accent, which I loved. He spoke and wrote fluent Spanish. When he spoke in Spanish, it was beautiful.

Roger talked about meeting for dinner. He suggested time after time to get together but something always came up. This went on for about 3 months prior to our first meeting in December. I had written him off, but he kept contacting me. It was easy to like him.

Finally during the first weekend of December, we agreed to meet. The meeting was in a city was about 2 hrs away. I went into the city for the day to shop and have dinner with Roger. We met at a great Mexican food place. Raymond was dressed in starched wranglers and button down shirt. He looked good. Dinner was great, we talked away. After dinner, we moved to a bar nearby to talk and have drinks about 9:30 pm. Well, things were never the same. We couldn’t talk or connect, he got very quite. It was a whole mood change. Everything went to “hell in handbag” with me wondering did I say something earlier? After an hour of that, I said I had to leave to drive back home. Done….goodbyes.

About 2 weeks after that weird ending date, Roger emailed me. He told me liked me very much but just couldn’t date. He was used to being on his own and living where ever that sent him. Go figure…..

TODAY'S CHATROOM COMMENT OF INTEREST

Jam2Mill: there are some good ppl on here but a lot of jerks too.......you just have to be careful

BILLY RAY IS ALL COUNTRY!

Billy Ray entered my world on Saturday, June 14th. He contacted me first through Singlesnet.com.

I will say I was really put off by his first email. It consisted of one line: “I'd like to talk. You interest me. Send me a number and I'll call. Billy Ray.” Now when men ask for your phone number—RED FLAG! I have lost track of how many men have approached me for sexual talk on the phone. This is sad but a true fact.

Billy Ray lives about 18o miles from me, way out in the middle of nowhere. The town only has 3000 people and is over 90 miles from any major town. That info g0t me thinking….Did he really mean what he said? Was he a perv? Should I give me a second chance or just end it? I figured he was just new to Internet dating and naïve, so I emailed back very nicely asking what where his intentions. I usually email back and say something to the effect “Hell No Thanks. Get a life.”

His replied to me: “Hey, Marion. Thanks for your reply. No, I don't want phone sex; just get frustrated trying to met someone on this system. I guess I'm a little nieve about some things and too pragmatic.” Bingo! He was not a perv. We move forward. Billy and I email back and forth, the moved to doing IMs (instant messages). Billy seems to type a zillion words and really fast. Most men are slow typers and not very wordy. It turns out Billy Ray is court reporter for a federal court district. AHHHH…..the reason for all the great grammar and perfect spellings. I thought as a librarian I had that covered and would always be better, NOT any more. It was refreshing to converse with someone that answers in complete sentences.

I felt immediately at ease with Billy Ray. He grew up in a small town and loved the land. He asked if we could talk on the phone…nicely. I agreed. He sounded just a like a “Billy Ray” on the phone---totally slow talking country hick. I loved it. He kept me in stitches all night. We talked about what we were looking for in a relationship. I must admit he sounded very well grounded, BUT………baggage he had. From what I could gather he has been married 2 times and has had many job changes---RED FLAG! On the other hand, I enjoyed talking to Billy. He was very straight forward and was a gentleman the whole time. What to do???

Sam Update: He has been in Dallas all weekend and comes home today. What will the week hold? We will actually get to spend time together?? Sam has his life all scheduled out—no time for a girlfriend I feel. I wish he would decide I am more fun than work…LOL

David from Seattle Update: We talked briefly online this morning while I was in a computer workshop. He was packing to take the week off up at his vacation cabin. David is remodeling a cabin. He is another workaholic…always having to do something. Why do I attract these kind of men??? Oh my…..

"BLAST FROM THE PAST" Oct. 2007

Being a woman's first is a big deal. Thank you David from Seattle! David was the first true contact in my dating journey.

I was parked in the room "I Love Men Over 40" on AOL. When I say I was parked, it means I wasn't chatting in the room. I don't chat much. I park in a room, then I go about doing other things on the computer for work or do laundry or clean house. I wait for someone to IM me. I rarely make the first contact. Women get zillions of IMs on AOL. I don't have time nor the inclination to talk to all that IM me, so I carefully screen them before I engage. I talk to only one man at a time, so I'm very particular about which one.

David and I hit it off immediately. He was easy to talk to and made me laugh. I love a good sense of humor. He also has never been married. (red flag) I just hated that he lived so far away. I knew that because of the distance we would never truly get together. Distance can be real factor. Is it worth the time investment? I'm saying this in "20-20 hindsight" since it happened so long ago. I didn't know or understand the distance factor. Now I know that they need to live near me to have a successful relationship.

Today, David and I are still in contact. We talk by phone once a week with emails and IMs, too. There was a 2 month period at the first of the year that David just disappeared. I sent emails but he never answered them. I was pissed to say the least, but then how much control or interest should I have in a very loose relationship? I mean did I gain anything from knowing him and understanding we would never meet? Waste of time?

I'd finally resigned to never hearing from him again when he popped up in March. I did make him grovel for my interest again. LOL He decided to go back to an old girlfriend. That in it's self is fine but he didn't tell me until 2 months had passed! David weaseled out by not telling me up front what was happening and why he was going to stop contact. That was my issue with him--timing.

Yesterday, June 14th was David's 46th birthday. We talked. He was going to celebrate his birthday and Father's Day on Sunday with his family.
What does the future hold with David? I have no clue. We have a small but good bond--that is all.

In the beginning......

Ever since Christmas Break 2007, I've been on a very lofty mission. My goal is to date more in 2008. Every year I set 1-3 goals to accomplish. My 2008 goal has to be my best one yet!

The Internet will be my sole method for finding suitable men to date. After all this is 2008 and technology is here to stay. I am technology orientated in my work as a librarian and in my personal life. I know just enough to have fun and to be dangerous.

Singles dating sites are everywhere on the Internet. You can use ones just for dating or hunt for people on Yahoo or AOL. I've been an AOL member since 1995. My first try was to look for love in the chat rooms of AOL. I progressed to POF (Plenty of Fish) and then on to Singlesnet.

After doing this for about 8 months, I discovered a pattern. I would get about 10-15 men contacts/interests. I would then weed (good librarian term) them down to 8-10 maybes. We would talk by email and instant messages (IMs). Finally, there would emerge one lone man that I would want to actually meet and date. The "one" I didn't feel was whacked and might just be normal. The pattern that emerged was it took about 3 months to find that "one man" I thought I could have a relationship with. Now why it took that long, who knows?

I have a really wonderful friend, "Nancy Drew" , who encouraged me to start a blog. Jean would call every day to hear the latest in my dating forays. Dishing with Nancy is highlight of my day and she is the ONLY person that knows most everything about my adventures. We would laugh, feel there are men with lots of baggage out there, sadness with some stories, but bottom line was I out there trying to find a man!

I started thinking about other middle age woman ( I am 51) involved in the internet dating scene and how was it going for them? Do men get the same thoughts about their tries at Internet dating? What kind of successes/problems are happening? I could go on. My blog hopefully will provide you and me some with insight into the life of Internet dating in 2008.